Why

It's too soon to really write about my dad's passing. It's too raw, and honestly, I'm not sure anyone other than my immediate family would care much anyway.

Something I've noticed, though, is how much--when I couldn't take the mourning--my brain would fixate on something that had nothing to do with what was happening. Random thoughts, I guess, that kept me from overloading, which is what I typically felt was going to happen just before the thoughts would pop into my head.  Here are some of the random thoughts I've had since my father died:

• Why did they go to the trouble to put these fake imperfections in these fake marble tiles? The imperfections are so regular that the effect is ruined anyway.
• My sister is right. Why IS that Craftsmen tool chest--identical to my father's--in the ICU room?
• Why do people keep bringing food to the house? I guess to give us something to do, trying to figure out where to store all of the food.
• Why is it so cold in this house?
• Why haven't the neighbor's put their Halloween decorations away yet?
• Why, when I only have one change of clothes here, is it inevitable that I would spill vegetable soup down the front of me?
• Why did I think I would find any good clothes at Wal-Mart?
• Why would I get a bad cold just before all of this happened?

Questions of  "why" that kept me from focusing on the REAL "why" question that I knew there'd be no good answer to.