Unfriended!

Apparently I don't have enough REAL things to worry about...

About a week ago I was looking through the Facebook posts of my friends. Just catching up on what was happening with my peeps. Gettin' the news. Wasting time.

Anyway, as I was scanning through everyone's statuses, I found one from a former classmate of mine that grabbed my attention. And apparently it had grabbed a bunch of people's attention, because she had about 18 comments to her status. As I scanned through the list of comments, one of the names jumped out at me. I don't want to use the real name, so let's just call the guy "Bob." Bob was also a former classmate of mine and we'd been friends on Facebook for a couple of years, and when I saw his name under this other person's comments, I thought, "Oh yeah, Bob. Haven't heard from him in a while. Wonder what he's doing." I clicked on his name so that I could go to his "Wall." When I got there, all I could see was his profile picture, a list of his friends, and a message that said, "Add as Friend." I was stunned.

No wonder I hadn't heard from him in a while! At some point, I'd been unfriended! After a moment's consideration I shrugged my shoulders and then thought to myself, "Oh well, his loss!" And I went on with my life.

Or so I thought.

I woke up in the middle of the night that night, and for whatever reason I couldn't fall back to sleep. This happens to me occasionally, and I cope with the insomnia by sort of Rolodexing through the events of the day, searching--I guess--for a topic boring enough to put me back to sleep. It usually doesn't work. Instead of focusing on something boring, I usually end up stuck on something that's really bugging me. And what I ended up stuck on that night was Bob.

What had I done to make him unfriend me? Had I written something offensive in a blog post? Had I made an insensitive comment? Did I link to a video that had something terrible in it? Or did it have nothing to do with the present? Was he angry for some slight I'd made against him when we were in public school together? But that was 25 years ago! If I'd done something I don't even remember it! There's no way anyone is holding me accountable for something I did when I was a child!

Is there?

I tried to tell myself that maybe he was just purging his list of friends to get rid of the ones that he wasn't really that close to. But that couldn't be the case. He and I shared FORTY-ONE mutual friends. Apparently he was still friends with most of the REST of the kids we'd grown up with! What had I done?

I told myself that maybe he'd unfriended me by mistake. The thought occurred to me that maybe I should send him another friend request. That way, if he HAD unfriended me by mistake, he'd see his error and accept my friend request again. And if he HADN'T made a mistake, well, then he'd know that I knew he'd unfriended me. He'd know he hadn't gotten away with sneakily unfriending me without so much as an explanation!

The next day I looked through our mutual friends list again, and I started picking out names that were on the list and getting upset. What? I'd think to myself. Bob and I were WAY closer than he was to THAT guy! And I don't think SHE even liked Bob. I remember her talking about him in Calculus class! Why is he still friends with her!

I know deep in my bones that it's a stupid thing to get upset about. After all, this is a guy that I haven't spoken to face to face since we graduated together a quarter century ago. And despite the fact that he lives in my hometown, I'll probably never see him again. And if it weren't for Facebook, I'd have no idea at all that the guy maybe does or maybe doesn't have a problem with me.

Still, I'm pretty bugged by it all...

And I'm still tossing around the idea of sending him another friend request, just to see what happens...