Not an Instant Winner

A couple of mornings ago I opened a new box of cereal for breakfast. As I did so, I noticed that printed on the inside of the box in large black letters were the words, "SORRY, YOU ARE NOT AN INSTANT WINNER."  I had to look at the back of the cereal box to see what it was I had just not won. It was a $25,000 kitchen makeover, which I really could have used. And I have to say this: I was a little bummed. Not to have lost, but to have found out I lost at something BEFORE I even knew I was playing.

It must feel like that for some young people. Brain research is beginning to demonstrate unequivocally that teenagers don't have fully developed brains, that their brains are not capable of comprehending the long term consequences of decisions. But by the time young people DO have fully developed brains, in their early to mid-twenties, they will have made several life-altering decisions, and to a large extent the course of their lives will have been decided. Did the youngster finish high school or drop out? Did the youngster glide through basic courses with D's, or did the youngster work his hardest and take advanced courses? Did he get a degree from a four year college, or did he drop out of community college? What career did this person decide to pursue? We're asking teenagers to make some of the most important decisions of their lives at a time when they're not fully capable of seeing how those decisions are going to affect them over the next 50 years.

My children are both approaching these critical years. My older daughter starts the ninth grade in just a few months, and by this time four years from now she'll have probably made up her mind about where she's going to go to college (Note that I didn't make college an option for her). It's the job of myself and my wife over the next few years to guide our children as they make these important decisions, so that they don't wake up one day when they're 25 years old and realize that they, too, are not an instant winner.