Senator Sweasy

I would like to use this blog to announce how thrilled I am about becoming the next junior U.S. Senator from Illinois. I make this statement because I figure that a) I have as good a chance of being the next junior Senator as does Roland Burris and b) I have about as much right to make the claim as does Roland Burris. So why not go ahead and make the claim? He's getting plenty of attention for claiming to be the next Senator from Illinois and has plenty of video cameras following him around. Why not me, too?

So let me again announce how thrilled I am to be Senator, and let me say that I intend to expend all of the powers the office will provide for the betterment of the citizens of Ilinois. At least, I plan to do so to the same extent that other Illinois politicians do so, people like our fine governor.

Oh, and in regards to using the term "our" to describe any Illinois official, I suppose I will have to actually move to Illinois and become a citizen of the state. I'll take care of that, though, after the U.S. Senate seats me.

In all sincerity, in a time of economic collapse, hundreds dying in Gaza and Israel, and the U.S. fighting two wars overseas, the capacity of our nation's politicians to do stupid, distracting stuff never ceases to amaze me.
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UPDATE: This is what I get for writing my posts a day in advance! I watched the news last night and discovered that, lo and behold, it now looks like Roland Burris WILL get the Senate seat, a fact which renders this whole post sort of meaningless. However, I spent a good 3 minutes putting that graphic of the family and the flag up, so I'm not going to take the post down.