WARNING!

As I was painting this weekend I noticed that most of the products I was using (paint, caulk, cleaners, etc.) had the same warning label on them. After reading a Wikipedia article about the warning label and how vague and far reaching it is, I figured I'd better post this warning on my site, just in case someone living in California reads this:

WARNING: This blog contains chemicals known to the state of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm.

There. I feel better for having posted that. Just covering my butt!

Also, as I worked this weekend, the following occurred to me (This is what 33 hours of painting in three days will do to a fellow. Or maybe it was the fumes):

1. Is California bragging with all these labels? Is it trying to show how much smarter it is than the rest of the states?


2. Why should I trust California? I've never met the state before. How do I know that these claims on these paint cans are legitimate? Maybe California is like that hypochondriac cousin at a Thanksgiving dinner who won't drink tap water because it's been poisoned with chlorine, or won't eat the green beans because they came from a tin can and the can opener may have been defective and may have put tiny shards of tin into the green beans.


3. It's a good thing the other 49 states haven't come up with a boneheaded law like this, or these labels would be even longer than they already are.


4. What if all 50 states DID have a similar law but then had different findings? I could envision a label that said "This product contains chemicals known to the states of California, Wyoming, Tennessee, New Hampshire, South Dakota, West Virginia, Virginia, Kentucky, Ohio, Florida, Oklahoma, and Texas to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. Illinois and Indiana aren't so sure. They've done some tests, and they think maybe there's a chance these chemicals are cancerous, but they're taking a wait and see approach. Washington, Minnesota, and Michigan are leaning towards these chemicals NOT being carcinogens. New Mexico, North Carolina, South Carolina, and North Dakota state they definitely are NOT cancer causers. But South Dakota claims that North Dakota doesn't really believe that and only says so because South Dakota knows they ARE cancer causing, and North Dakota always takes the opposite stance of South Dakota because he doesn't like South Dakota. To which North Dakota replied, 'Same to you but more of it!' Colorado says that both Dakotas are being childish and need to stop this right away. The remaining states have no position on these chemicals."



5. Based on how many of these chemicals with warning labels I've been using, I'm probably going to die of cancer. Soon.