Feeling Like a Moron

There are several common occurrences in my life when I feel like a total moron. An example of one is when I'm pushing on a door that very clearly says "Pull." Another happened just the other day when I was at the gas pump. I put my credit card in the machine and waited for it to be validated. After a moment a message appeared saying, "Select grade." I put my credit card away and then began fervently pushing the yellow "87" on the machine, only to realize after about the fifth or sixth push that I was pushing a simple sticker! I was supposed to be pushing the orange unleaded button above it. The only thing that kept me from feeling completely stupid was the fact that I could tell by the wear on the yellow sticker that I wasn't the only person who had done this (click the photo above to enlarge it and see for yourself. There had been plenty of other people before me mindlessly pushing the sticker.).

Just now I had a third experience, one that (I must admit) happens quite a bit more often than the other two. I'm talking about turning the lights off. Normally that's not such a big deal for me. But when 1) the light switch plate contains more than one light switch like the photo on the left does, AND when 2) one of the toggles works in a different direction from the others (maybe you turn off two by toggling the switch down, but the third requires you to toggle the switch up) I am usually completely befuddled. If I'm in a hurry I just start flipping switches randomly, and lights start flashing on and off in a rapid pattern. If I don't slow down and concentrate I think I might be there all day before I get the lights off.

It's in moments like that that I seriously wonder how I got a master's degree.