Christmas Songs I DON'T Like, part one

Last year at Christmas time I shared my two all time favorite Christmas songs (You can see the posts here and here). This year I thought I'd take the opposite approach and present you with some Christmas songs that I don't like, and tell you why.

If I had to come up with my Top 10 List of Most Hated Christmas Songs, I'm honestly not sure what the entire list would comprise, but I can tell you easily--without even having to give any thought to it--what number one on the list would be: "The Little Drummer Boy."

I hate every possible version of the song. And I'm not exactly sure what it is about this song that bothers me. The alliteration of "Pa-rum-pa-pum-pum" repeated over and over again isn't what bothers me. I kind of like that, in fact, because back when I was a 10th grade English teacher I almost always taught a unit on poetry right before the first semester break and  I could use the song as an example of what onomatopoeia was. So I guess I have that to be grateful for in the song.

No, I guess what bothers me is the Biblical inconsistency of the whole song. Three things bother me:
1) There was no drummer boy bringing Jesus gifts at the manger. Read the gospels and you'll see. No drummer boy is mentioned. Or if you're not Christian and/or you don't want to read a Bible, you can just go look at any of the manger sets that are for sale in the Christmas aisle of any store. There is no little drummer boy in the set.
2) Not only was there no drummer boy in the Bible, but the whole idea of a bunch of people parading in front of Jesus and presenting him gifts is not in the Bible, either! The song opens with these lines, "'Come,' they told him (Pa-rum-pa-pum-pum)/ A newborn King to see (Pa-rum-pa-pum-pum)/ Our finest gifts we bring (Pa-rum-pa-pum-pum)/ To lay before the King." Unless the "they" in the song were the Magi telling the child to come before the king then the whole idea is flawed, because the Magi were the only ones who presented gifts to Jesus. Who are these mysterious other people planning to come before Jesus, too? And if it isn't other people, if it is the Magi that are telling the child to come with them, why are they enticing this child to come with them? Are they wise men or child molesters?
3) The sentimentality of the final verse bugs me. "The ox and lamb kept time?" Really? The ox and lamb had a sense of musical rhythm? They were magical, musical beasts? Also, the idea that Jesus smiled at the boy at the end of the song bugs me, too. I know famous paintings of the Christ child show him with a halo around his head, and I understand that Jesus is the physical incarnation of the living God, but did he really have full, adult consiousness when he was an infant? I don't think so. Maybe it wasn't a smile, little drummer boy. Maybe it was just gas.

Look, I don't have a problem with songs about Santa Claus and magical reindeer, and I don't have a problem with songs about Christmas that don't focus on Jesus (In fact, both of the songs that I link to above would fall into that category), but if you're going to write a Christmas song that focuses on the manger scene, at least be accurate to what's recorded in the Bible.