"Fail" is a Verb!

Lately I've been disturbed by a grammar error that has been creeping into our language. The error is this: When someone attempts to do something grand and important and makes a mistake of equally grand and important scale, people will often say something to the effect of, "Boy, that was an Epic Fail!" There's even a website dedicated to showing people who make "Epic Fails."

When people say this, I feel as if they're scraping their fingernails on a chalkboard. I want to scream the following at these people: "No! It is NOT an 'Epic Fail!' It is an 'Epic FailURE!' The word 'fail' is not a noun! Ever! It's a verb! And that's all it is! You can't even use it as another part of speech. You can use 'failING' as another part of speech, as in 'Someone needs to turn around those failing schools' or 'Failing is never fun.' You can also used 'failED' in the same way ('She burned all of her failed tests.'). You can add the word 'to' in front of it and make it an infinitive and THAT can be used as an adjective, as in 'Mary was the one to fail,' or--yes--an infinitive can even be a noun, as in 'To fail is to not try.' But you can never, Never, NEVER use 'fail' alone as anything but a verb!"

I guess it just makes the English teacher rise up in me.