Back a few months ago I wrote about a well known phrase that bothers me every time I hear it: "That which does not kill me only makes me stronger." Today I want to talk about a second phrase people say all of the time, and when I hear it my attention pretty much shuts down because I'm thinking about what the person just said.The phrase isn't a complete sentence, but rather the beginning of a sentence, and the beginning I'm talking about is "I'll be damned if," followed by something else.
"I'll be damned if" is used, I guess, to express that the speaker really dislikes whatever is going to happen next in the sentence. An example sentence would be something like this, "I'll be damned if Jim is going to get that promotion over me!"
But when someone says something like that, my brain immediately comes back with a question: Really? REALLY? Think about what you're saying here, bud. IF Jim gets that promotion over you, in addition to the unthinkable happening (Jim getting the promotion), you're also condemning yourself to everlasting punishment in the flames of hell. That seems like a double punishment to me!
Wouldn't it make more sense to say something like, "I'll win the 10 million dollar lottery and become blessed with the power to heal if Jim is going to get that promotion over me!" Then you've got a no lose situation. If you get the promotion, bully for you! If Jim gets the promotion, at least you got that whole power to heal thing going for you.
Or maybe I'm just overthinking things in this case...
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