The Stimulus Package

I've written quite a bit about politics on this blog since I began it last April, but you may have noticed (or maybe you didn't) that I haven't had much of anything to say about the roughly $800 billion federal stimulus package. That's because 1) I haven't made my mind up about the bill (which is the same reason I haven't written about gay marriage yet) and 2) I don't know enough about the package to say anything even remotely intelligent about the thing. However, since appearing intelligent has never been a real goal of mine, and since this seems to be what everyone is talking about, I'll just throw out some random thoughts about the whole thing.

1) It bothers me that there is so little (read "basically no") Republican support for the bill. This is a GIGANTIC expense to the American tax payers, and I think both the right and the left should be on board.

2) On the other hand, maybe the Republicans have just looked at the political landscape and decided that, if they want to get back into power, they HAD to oppose this bill. Think about their alternatives. They're screwed in three out of four alternatives:

• If they HAD worked with Obama in a bipartisan way and the bill had SUCCEEDED in rescuing the economy, Obama would get all of the credit, not them. In two years during the next national elections the voters would remember how Obama had rescued them from the brink of a Depression and they'd vote to keep the Democrats in power.
• If they HAD worked with Obama in a bipartisan way and the bill had FAILED to rescue the economy, Obama would get blamed, sure, but so would they. Obama would argue that if they'd had a problem with the stimulus bill they should have said something when he was trying to get it passed.
• Now that they have NOT worked with Obama, it's possible that the bill may indeed SUCCEED in rescuing the economy. If it does, the Republicans will look like idiots, but will they be any worse off than if they'd worked with Obama? Not really. They seem out of touch now and they'll seem out of touch then.
• The only scenario that works for them is what they might be praying for now: They do NOT work with Obama, and the bill FAILS to rescue the economy. If that happens, the Republicans can put their hands up and say, "None of us voted for this plan! We TRIED to warn you Americans! This isn't our fault!" And the American people will drive the Democrats out of power in two years and Obama out of the White House in four.

So when you get right down to it, what they did might be their only option for survival as a party, and not a reflection on the actual bill.

3) I am so sick of the phrase "shovel ready" to describe projects that can take effect immediately. The first time I heard it I thought, "Wow. Neat phrase!" Apparently so did everyone else because you can't watch a news show anymore without hearing someone say it. It's weird how that works because, as interesting as the phrase is, it's not the only one that could be used. "Hammer ready" works just as well. So does "Backhoe ready." In fact, I kind of like "backhoe ready" better than "shovel ready" anyway. It's more indicative of what will actually happen with a construction project. But you'll never catch anyone on the news saying, "Over 35% of the spending in this stimulus bill is simple pork barrel spending. Only a handful of items are backhoe ready!" Which is a shame.

4) Obama has stumbled a bit in the last few weeks. Heck, that's being too easy on the guy. He has all but fallen on his face. He stuck his hand out at the last second to prevent himself from doing so, but then he slipped again and went down on one knee. Now his hands are scraped and bleeding and he's got a big, round wet spot on the left kneecap area of his suit pants, and his back is hurting a little bit and he's thinking he might need to see a chiropractor again.

Or maybe I'm carrying that analogy a little too far.