The Real Wicked Witch

One night over this Thanksgiving weekend the entire family sat down to watch The Wizard of Oz on DVD. We watched it because Lisa wanted to watch it--she said she remembered as a child that the movie always played on TV sometime around Thanksgiving. 


It's a movie I've seen dozens of times now, and most of those viewings have been in the last 10 years or so thanks to my daughters' love for the movie. And every time I watch the film I become more and more convinced of one thing:


Glinda is not what she claims to be!


I know there's already been a book and musical called Wicked! that dealt with this issue, but I'm not interested in the back story leading up to the events in the original 1939 movie. I'm talking about in the movie itself, Glinda is not as wholesome as she claims to be. The problem is, The Wizard of Oz is seen pretty much through Dorothy's eyes. She's the protagonist, and she's the one we identify with throughout the story. But Dorothy, very early on in the movie, is shown to be a wide-eyed, naive little girl who foolishly believes everything that Professor Marvel tells her, a little girl who dreams of "somewhere over the rainbow." So Dorothy naturally believes Glinda when she describes herself as a "good" witch. But Glinda, in my mind, is NOT a good witch. She's a Machiavellian monster!


Here's what I think happened:


Years ago, the Kansas man who will one day be known as "The Wizard of Oz" lands in the Land of Oz in his balloon. At some point later he convinces the citizens of the Emerald City that he is the Wizard of Oz. When the story begins, there are four powerful beings vying for control of Oz, the "Wicked" Witch of the West, the "Wicked" Witch of the East, Glinda the "Good" Witch of the North, and the Wizard of Oz, whom I will bet is also referred to as the "Wizard of the South." These four beings rule the lands of Oz, and none of them trust the other ones AT ALL! But as none is more powerful than the others, there is a measure of stability and peace in the kingdom.


Enter Dorothy in her tornado-blown house. Her house lands on top of the Witch of the East, killing her. Now, think about what happens next! Almost instantly Glinda arrives in her bubble. The first thing she does is ask Dorothy, "Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" She's measuring up Dorothy to see how powerful she is. I think Glinda very quickly realizes that a) Dorothy is nothing to fear and b) Dorothy is from the same land as the Wizard of Oz. 


Then the Wicked Witch of the West shows up demanding revenge for the killing of her sister. And before Dorothy can try to smooth things over with the Wicked Witch of the West, maybe try some of that mid-western charm on her, Glinda goads the Witch of the West, reminding her about the ruby slippers, and when the Witch of the West goes for the slippers, Glinda makes them appear on Dorothy's feet. Glinda makes Dorothy a target! 


Once the "Wicked" Witch of the West leaves, Glinda convinces Dorothy that Dorothy will have to Follow the Yellow Brick Road to the Emerald City to ask the Wizard of Oz to take her home. Glinda doesn't offer to send anyone along as a guide, nor does she offer to accompany Dorothy herself. She sends a 12 year old child alone on a long journey through a dangerous, dark forest where the trees are alive and where living scarecrows and metal men with axes live. And she does this assuming that Dorothy will either be killed before she ever gets to the Emerald City, or if she does, she will meet the Wizard of Oz, who will either a) send her off to kill the Witch of the West (Maybe he makes this demand of anyone who wants something from him!) or b) he will decide to get in his balloon and take her home. If either of these events happens, Glinda gets rid of one more of the two remaining foes in her way to total domination of Oz. And if Dorothy gets killed, it's no real loss for her.


Imagine Glinda's surprise, then, when at the end of the movie Dorothy kills the Witch of the West AND convinces the Wizard of Oz to leave in the balloon. Sure, the Wizard leaves the Tin Man, the Scarecrow, and the Lion in charge of the Emerald City, but do you really think the three of them will be much of a match against Glinda that "Good" Witch (though I think you're beginning to see now what I've been seeing in all of these viewings, aren't you? She's no GOOD witch!)? Glinda will be in total control of the Land of Oz before Dorothy can finish chanting "There's no place like home!"


And if you still have doubts, consider this: When the Wizard goes off and leaves Dorothy alone, Glinda shows up and tells Dorothy that she could have gone home anytime she wanted--all she has to do is click her heels, say "There's no Place Like Home," and remember that everything she ever wanted was in her own back yard. Dorothy asks Glinda why she didn't tell her that in the first place, and Glinda replies that Dorothy wouldn't have believed her, that Dorothy had to find out for herself...


...well...


....if I'd been Dorothy, I would have said to her, "Oh yeah? Well, I would have liked to have tried it anyway!"



What a load of rubbish. Glinda didn't tell her at the beginning of the movie because she still saw that she could use Dorothy to at least occupy the Witch of the West for a little while. She had no idea how swimmingly things were going to go for her.


Or maybe I've just seen this movie too many times...