I'm still not sure how, but somehow I got talked into participating in an Erlanger fundraiser called "Donkey Basketball." I honestly don't even know what the fundraiser was for. All I know is that my superintendent said something along the lines of, "Bryan, May 1, you're playing donkey basketball at Scheben!"
"I am?" I asked.
"Yes!" he said. "Trust me. It will be fun."
And it was. Though I have to say that I was a little nervous at first. Before the games ever began we were all taken into another room and the man who runs this Donkey Basketball thing went over the rules with us. And he said a couple of things that really jumped out at me. At one point he said, "Of course, you all have to sign a waiver here releasing me from any liability if you get hurt. 'Can we get hurt?' some of you might be thinking. Well, you're going to be riding a donkey on a basketball court. OF COURSE YOU CAN GET HURT!"
Later, he was giving us tips on how NOT to get hurt, and he said, "These donkeys like to do what we call 'ducking.' That's when they take off really quickly and then stop and duck their heads in an attempt to throw you over their heads. When that happens, your first instinct is going to be to clamp down with your legs and try to hold on. But trust me! You're coming off that donkey. The question you want to ask yourself is do you want to relax and slide off and land on your feet? Or do you want to clamp down and then have the donkey buck up its rear and REALLY throw you off? It's your choice."
Luckily for me, I never had that problem. There were four total teams in the Donkey Basketball tournament: 1) The Erlanger Police, 2) Erlanger Faculty A, 3) Erlanger Faculty B, and 4) Local celebrities (made up of local newscasters and radio personalities and one guy dressed up as Elvis!). Each team played two games. I was on the third team above, and our first game was against the local celebrities. I found out later that I was on the most docile of all of the donkeys, and she let me get on and off her at will and really was no problem at all (The photo above and video below were from the first game).
We won that game, against the local celebrities, 4-0--there's not a lot of scoring in donkey basketball as I don't think the donkeys get the finer points of the game (which you can see in the video below as my donkey at the end starts fast breaking in the wrong direction). That meant that we played later in the "championship" game against the Erlanger Police Department. In that game I had a different donkey (It's the small, brown donkey in the foreground at the start of the video below), and he was the polar opposite of my first donkey. In all four games he wouldn't let ANYONE ride him. He'd lower his neck and kick as soon as you lifted a leg to straddle him. And in the final game he actually pretty much stood at center court and wouldn't move at all. At one point I jumped off him and grabbed his reins and pulled and pulled (my feet were spinning under me like Fred Flintstone) but he just wasn't going anywhere.
We lost that championship game, but I don't think that anyone cared. And no one got seriously hurt, so that was good.
3 comments:
Oh my goodness, I have so many things to say about this...I don't know where to start.
First: I want to party with the peeps of Northern KY b/c that is honestly one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
Secondly: Who informed the janitors that they would also be serving as Pooper Scoopers for this event?
Thirdly: If it's OK w/ the blogger, I may have to post a link of the youtube video to my blog.
Lastly: I'm a little shocked that there's no dribbling in Donkey basketball.
Please let me know when the next game is because that is TOTALLY worth a road trip!
Allyson, in response to your comments:
1. It was very funny.
2. Actually, an assistant principal and a teacher at the middle school served as official pooper scoopers, and yes, they did see quite a bit of action. In fact, the clock ran continuously during donkey basketball with the exception of when the clean up crew was called into action. I believe that happened a total of probably 6 or 7 times.
3. Post away.
4. This was the 2nd year of the event. It was not as well attended this year as last, when the stands were practically packed. A big reason for this was that there was a regional track meet happening right next store at the track, and there was literally no place to park anywhere on the combined high school/middle school campus. People were parking in nearby church lots and walking to the events. I think many people who intended to come to the event drove by, saw the parking, and said "Forget it!" So I know the fundraising group (whoever they were) was disappointed. Still, I think there WILL be another donkey game next year, and if there is I'll publicize it well in advance.
Bryan, that is absolutely the funniest thing I have ever seen. There have been a lot of Sweasys play basektball through out the years, but I think I'm safe in saying that you are the ONLY one to do so on a donkey. I'm just disappointed that I wasn't invited. I expect to be next year!!
Ann
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